40 of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (May 24, 2025)

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  • 01
    arianators wildin @arianatorswildt when does her visa expire Pop Base - @PopBase 19h 'Emily In Paris' Season 5 is now in production at Netflix. ブロ C 11:07 AM 5/7/25.5.4M Views • 366 18K Sessa 229K ☐ 2.1K
  • 02
    Keara Sullivan @superkeara Your password must contain two characters who talk to each other about something other than a man 10:33 PM 5/12/25 1.2M Views → 75 tz 7.1K 86K 2K 企
  • 03
    7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000 She told him they can get McDonald's on the way home CONFERENCE PLAYOFFS EASTERN CON NEW YOR KNICK 2024 TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET 10:15 AM 5/13/25 124K Views 14 115 KYLIE JENNER 3.5K 85 ↑
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    Allie @Cluffalo I'm not usually the type to get jealous over other people's weddings But I saw a girl on reels say she incentivized people to RSVP by making the order in which people RSVP their order to get up and get dinner and I am being driven to insanity by how genius that is 11:12 AM 5/8/25 234K Views 57 314 11K ☐ 791
  • 05
    Transfer Portal @NCAAPortal I'm not familiar with “leftover bacon" Nick Ford @Ford_Nick. 1d What do you do with leftover bacon... 1:38 PM 5/11/25 3.8M Views
  • 06
    gurg* @gurgx3 the entire population is getting dumber and dumber around me and there nothing I can do but watch LIVE 3:321 5G 80 STEM Explore Following Shop For You Q What's crazy to me is how literally the whole world put USB ports everywhere and invested so much $ in putting them everywhere and then Apple was just like nahhh we gonna do USB-C now 125.3K 1,279 992 Dani Like why does it feel illegal¿ #usb #usbc #ports #chargers ♫ original sound - its_jonel04 Fasten se 810
  • 07
    Outa @CallMeOuta I used to have this mental illness where I thought logical arguments would change someone's mind 5:18 PM 5/8/25 2.3M Views 1.2K • 21K 110K ☐ 7.9K ↑
  • 08
    Smokin Jay Cutler @sniffmytable Shaking my girlfriend's dad's hand "Great grip sir I see where she gets it from" • 10:28 AM 5/16/24 6M Views • 188 27 10K 111K ☐ 7.4K
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    Josh Barro ❤ @jbarro Chicago Pope, Tuesdays on NBC 1:33 PM 5/8/25 1.2M Views • 189 17 4K 35K
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    schmoyoho, accent on the yo @schmoyoho to the tune of Pink Pony Club Laura Loomer @LauraLoomer. 20h WOKE MARXIST POPE . 3:19 PM 5/8/25 3.9M Views 124 178.8K 114K ☐ 3.6K
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    Deedy ❤ @deedydas The new Pope has a degree in mathematics from Villanova University. This guy doesn't just understand sin. He understands cos. 1:51 PM 5/8/25.9.2M Views 3.2K 46K 329K 14K ↑
  • 12
    colin @M40A3 I don't know how to flirt I asked this girl what grocery store she goes to 11:41 PM 5/6/25 249K Views • . 38 621 7.5K ☐ 283
  • 13
    Kevin O'Neill @KevinBuffalo The white smoke over Buffalo means we've invented a new wing sauce. 12:08 PM 5/7/25 1.5M Views 146 17 2.8K 69K ☐ 1K
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    Riley ❤ @Ri_S_OB Black smoke from Tuscaloosa. No starting quarterback has been named James Spann @spann 16h Reports indicate there has been some type of explosion at Hunt Oil in Tuscaloosa... video from Alexis Russell
  • 15
    Douglas A. Boneparth @dougboneparth Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother's Day before we wake her up and ask what's for breakfast. 9:20 AM 5/11/25 1.3M Views 102 tz 1K 35K ☐ 612
  • 16
    baja❤ @baja_my_blast White people sayings ranked: 1. Oh yea? You and what army 2. Not my first rodeo 3. For Pete's sake 4. Hold your horses 5. Take a hike 6. Get a load of this guy 7. You're barking up the wrong tree pal 8. Cat got your tongue? 9. You're on thin ice buddy 10. No sh, sherlock 4:12 PM 5/15/25 2.4M Views 819 12.6K 33K ☐ 5.6
  • 17
    carrie @discountgourds waited for 6 minutes for this to cycle back onscreen Heat Tape Shower Doors PVC Pipe Shower Surrounds PEX Tubing Showers PVC Pipe PEX Tubing Congratulations to the new Pope - likely the first to Save 310 Money at MENARDS
  • 18
    Meg @megannn_lynne So it turns out insurance covered my surgery, but silly me, thinking that it would also cover the anesthesia required to knock me out for said surgery! 8:31 AM 5/14/25.6.8M Views 516 12K 485K 9.4K 企
  • 19
    Z☆ @deanvrse dont you hate it when your big girl job gets in the way of you hyperfixations 1:34 AM 5/15/25 172K Views • 40 2.1K 9.7K ☐ 270 ↑
  • 20
    Chili's Grill & Bar @Chilis @us next time... also, we honestly didn't know you were still open. congrats! TGI Fridays @TGIFridays Somebody tell to stay in their lane. Y'all are not mozzarella stick people. We are. That's it. That's the tweet. This fact is true 12:00 PM - May 14, 2025 5.6K Retweets 212 Quote Tweets 20.3K Likes 27 5:11 PM 5/15/25 334K Views 527 1.1K 9.2K ☐ 166 企
  • 21
    @hotfunn22 how do circumcised ppl sneak food into a movie theater • 1:08 PM 5/14/25 6.3M Views 480 15.4K 76K ☐ 3.2K ↑
  • 22
    microplastics envelope filter @DiabolicalSpuds I have great news for you about the rest of reality television annie @soychotic. 9h They should have Love on the Spectrum for other disorders. I wanna see narcissists and sociopaths try to fall in love with each other 12:11 PM 5/14/25 1.8M Views 34 17 3.6K 70K 851 ↑
  • 23
    WISCONSIN BVT @BadgerVibeTrack W WISCONSIN BADGERS HARD COMMIT - 3/3/2025 United Kingdom Timeline Tom Riddle SG 6-4- 5:21 PM 5/12/25 681K Views 55 316 CLASS 2028 </> 9.9K 369 ↑
  • 24
    tanya @Tanya_Sabrinaaa waterbnb, firebnb, and earthbnb Brian Chesky » @ @bchesky-21h Tomorrow we're unveiling Airbnb's next chapter • 1:07 AM 5/13/25 678K Views . 117 17 2K 24K ☐ 346
  • 25
    André @AndreSegers reunited at last for real FOX 31 FOX31 Denver KDVR @KDVR. 1d Morris, the Colorado alligator in 'Happy Gilmore,' dies at over 80 years old kdvr.com/news/local/ mor... 3:04 PM 5/12/25 1.3M Views 38 17 3.6K 34K ☐ 1.1K ↑
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    yeah. 11 brian @brianonhere Brian Chesky 3 @ @bchesky 21h Tomorrow we're unveiling Airbnb's next chapter 11:04 PM 5/12/25 1.4M Views 59 11.8K 33K 530 企
  • 27
    brazes @lordbrazes "were there any signs she was crazy?" St ssway Colonia te Dr rrison St W W Beaumont Dr Hollow Rd Yami 3h Meadow Dr Oak Ln Canyon Dr Abilene Dr why tf u staring at that bl 3:48 PM 5/9/25 172K Views 46 17439 Terrace Ln for 14K ☐ 388 ↑
  • 28
    er cole @juul_survivor Why does my new doctors office need to know my bodycount what's going on Number of partners in lifetime ○ Less than 6 ○ More Than 6 ○ Just 6 10:56 AM 5/9/25 3.9M Views 724 t 2.2K 134K 3.5K 企
  • 29
    LBark @franzsherbert Me to my Al-enabled smart fridge in 2038: Do we have any milk left My fridge: Wow. Now that's a question worth exploring. By asking me something like that, you've proven that you're not thinking in ordinary ways—you're dialed in to what's really vital about food. Let's dive in. 11:08 AM 5/16/25 1.2M Views 90 3.5K 59K 1.8K 企
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    via @atrophicbtrfly the lion doesn't concern himself with credit card debt 5:52 PM 5/16/25 1.6M Views 58 19.7K 91K ☐ 2.3K ↑
  • 31
    doomer @uncledoomer its called central park not left side park City Aesthetics TT @cityaestheticss. 1d. Hot take: Central Park should have been placed on the Hudson River. • 5:11 AM 5/16/25 6.2M Views 175 14K 350K ☐ 2.8K ↑
  • 32
    ani rey @acrossthestrs i know the empire was SICK of his a yapping about the force 24/7 while they're just trying to talk military strategy The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. 9:02 AM 5/16/25 • 271K Views 67 17778 17K 880 企
  • 33
    "Steve" @extranapkins They should make a movie about the Predator home planet and they're all just normal guys, they think the Predators who go to other planets hunting guys and turning invisible are weird freaks 11:12 PM 5/15/25 536K Views • 142 t 1.9K 36K 1.2K ↑
  • 34
    Eli McCann @EliMcCann My niece and I share a birthday. She's turning 22 tomorrow and every year I try to ask her to take a backseat. < Kaylee > Today 5:09 PM Hey, can you please lay low tomorrow? It's my 41st birthday and that's kind of a big one for me and I really want the family attention. 7:10 PM 5/17/25 305K Views 136 17269 Delivered 19K 378 ↑
  • 35
    horse dentist @equine_dentist wanna come over and lowball people on facebook marketplace < Item Your offer wasn't accepted. Make a new offer? Price US $350.00 Previous Offer US $20.00 Message from seller You should be shot 1:15 PM 5/17/25 276K Views 14 C 1.1K 000 24K ☐ 745 ↑
  • 36
    Tech Sales Guy @TechSalesGuy3 Time to watch a grown man pretend to call his manager 7 times + TOYOTA RICK HENDRICK 12:09 PM 5/17/25 1.3M Views • 247 17503 26K ☐ 903 企
  • 37
    @yaidunna you can tell someone grew up reading because they know so many words and they pronounce them all wrong 12:36 AM 5/17/25 3.7M Views 703 17 23K 245K 10K 企
  • 38
    Klark @KnightClawk I'm crying why the pics so intimate like he the baby daddy Megg @Crixxsten. 1d Would you take pics with a bear? 9:47 AM 5/17/25 7.5M Views 696 14K 276K 9.1K ↑
  • 39
    holy brat @sidefeta To be clear I mean I am literally her waitress rn. Not like, "giving" holy brat @sidefeta ⚫ 6h • Serving Scarlett Johansson at work rn 4:28 PM 5/18/25 · 1M Views . 48 17 2K 65K ☐ 1K ↑
  • 40
    @deanvrse i keep forgetting most ppl aren't chronically online i just called my co worker 'bestie'...she took a long look at me then said "thank you i've never had a best-friend" 1:56 AM · 5/18/25 .3M Views 361 1 11K 297K 8.4K ↑

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